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Old Sewing Machine Ads are Creepy!

"Make no mistake, I will slap you."




Quick! Spot the dead gremlin.


"I shall slay this giant insect with my umbrella, then return for my hat!"


Because nothing sells sewing machines like cruelty to cats.


"Riverdance for your lives, kittens! Before I sew your tails together!"


"Sew his tail to something," she said, "and make him riverdance."



Even the monkey is cruel to cats.



"Never mind the monkey! Strap that sewing machine to the turtle and choke him with it." What about the bunny? "The bunny is a goner!"


OMG. Foxes, too? What is this fascination with sewing animals' tails?



At least the lions behave like a family. A creepy family with furniture in the forest where lions don't live.


Of course there is a sewing machine on this elephant's back. Try to keep up.



I don't like circus animals. I prefer magicians like Elias Howe. And angels adore him.



Hey girl. Make that sewing machine disappear. I said I like magic.



That frog is wearing swim trunks. Everything else seems pretty normal, though.



Neat. Swim-trunk Frog has a girlfriend. Makes perfect sense.



Enough with the weird animals. Here, drink some paint, Mr. Tophat. That other guy is laughing so hard at you he might pee himself.



First date. Last date.



Were these women about to wrestle? Slap fight? What is happening here?!?



I'm not impressed by your bicycle, dear sir! I want to see the giant machine that rotary shuttle belongs to!



Santa Claus couldn't get that treadle through the chimney, but this weirdo can?



The first rule of hat club is...


"Get back in the closet!"


Before Facebook, stalkers used bicycles. Pedal faster, m'lady!


A wilted top hat, a fan, a bottle in the pocket, and the flexibility of a ballerina. Oh, and a sweet 'stache on Satan.


"Darn my socks. You can start tonight."



"Hey, this big 'E' will scrape the hairs from my chin!"



Grandma paints her eyebrows on weird, but she sure can sew.



I don't mind that she painted the brand onto the dog, but that fez does not match those suspenders.



"SQUEEEEEEEEEE!"



You squeed way too hard. You better have that neck checked.



A Singer album. A smug Dad. A screaming boy. A terrified little girl. Mom's on Valium. Yep... it's Christmas!



Um... no. Don't do that.

1 comment:

Michelle Langelier said...

the one about the Christmas gift is hilarious!
And the lady sooooo happy to have an Elna!




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